This is an open letter to all those fellow motorists I've beat with my Neon.
Dear fellow motorist:
You are probably wondering why your car just got beat by a Neon. Perhaps you have a V6 and cannot understand why a 4 cylinder would beat you, or maybe your engine has a larger displacement than my 2.0L. Whatever the case may be, you did in fact get beat by a relatively stock Neon.
You may have wondered if I have a turbo in my car, due to the whistling you hear as my car starts to walk away from your car. In fact, some of you have asked me as such. My car doesn't have a turbo charger, nor does it have any type of boost. Aside from the K&N air filter, it's a factory stock intake. That whistling sound you hear is from a large volume of air rushing into a relatively small area at a rapidly increasing rate of speed. In other words, that's how my engine sounds when it gets wound up past 5k RPMs.
You may have seen the cluster of aftermarket gauges and thought that they may be to monitor some performance-enhancing components. In fact, these aftermarket gauges, which will work on most cars, are there to monitor rather ordinary, mundane functions. Going from left to right, first is the tachometer to monitor how fast my engine is turning over. My tachometer also incorporates a bright red shift light. This shift light is calibrated such that it comes on to tell me the most effective time to shift in order to hand you your ass. If you're still within earshot range, I'll shift such that the tires will chirp to let you know that 2nd gear will embarrass you just as badly as 1st gear did. In the likely event that you were out of earshot range, I probably didn't waste the rubber and granny shifted.
The 2nd gauge is an electric oil pressure gauge. This permits me to monitor the pressure of the 100% synthetic motor oil that's flowing through my engine. This way, in the unlikely event that my engine should suffer some kind of oil leak, I'll know right away to ease off the gas pedal and not beat you so badly. The 3rd gauge is a simple volt gauge. With it, I know when I've run the radio without the car running for too long, whether or not the alternator is working properly, and whether or not the battery is still holding a charge.
Together, none of these gauges actually do anything to make the car faster. If anything, the electrical current they draw puts more load on the alternator, making it more difficult for the engine to turn and thus are probably costing me a small amount of power. However, my Neon has plenty of power to spare, as I have demonstrated to you. There is no need for boost or exotic gauges.
The reason I beat you is due to a combination of factors that you probably won't understand, so I won't waste your and my time explaining it to you. What's important for you to understand is that Neons are much faster than you think. In fact, the look on your face as I pulled away on you is exactly why I bought a Neon in the first place. The look of disbelief and astonishment is well worth it.
Yours sincerely,
A Neon driver
Last edited by 1fast2liter : 09-26-2004 at 12:13 AM.
Reason: cause you are all fags
Mods: H&R Springs, Short Shifter, CAI, Magnaflow exhaust, Iridium Plugs, NGK Wires, GSR Computer, Wheels, Power-adding Blue Engine Paint
This is hillarious because tonight I just ran into a local Neon convention in the parking lot of Tim Horton's and escorted them out of the parking lot and through the next couple of traffic lights. You might wonder why I escorted them, it's because I figured anyone driving a Neon must be used to having their parents by their side, and also spanking their asses.
At the first light I was next to two of them (3 lane road) and took off on green, not knowing I was racing, and still had to wait for them at the next light. It was there that I realized neons were trying to race me and decided I should show them why they shouldn't race cars that their parents bought them to drive to homeroom in highschool.
Seriously, I've driven neons and they aren't are car to "race" with unless you put around the cost of the car into transforming the motor into performance.
Honestly, don't try to get a rise out of us folk with something so absurb, 1fast2liter. I I wouldn't have even read your post after the first line if I didn't have 26 ounces of rum in me, so don't expect too many others to read it.
1st of all the only fast neon is the SRT-4, but u already said your not turbo
2nd of all Neon's including the SRT-4 are gh3y
3rd of all in the rare event u did find a fast n/a Neon, It's still a Neon so therefore it's still gay
4th of all do u really thinking whoring up our forums with your bullshit is gonna piss us off? that's why we have mods and ban you
BITCH!
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Blah, blah, blah, rabble, rabble, rabble
If you can't drink it, race it.....or sleep with it....It's not worth your time.
since the original was kinda long, i give you the abridged version...
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1fast2liter
hey there, just decided to pop in here and let you guys know that i'm a big fucking idiot of a 13 year old that one day dreams of driving a gay ass piece of shit car... thanks for your time
god damn what a douche haha. damn i guess since neons are sooo fast i guess thats why i can hand them their ass all day long. the srt4 is quick and ive driven one and the only reason i half way liked it was because it has a turbo but ive seen bigger snails outside in my garden and the second reason i liked it was because of the seats. other than that ALL neons blow big fat floppy cocks
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New car:Black 97 240sx se
Old car: Red 99 civic si
Mods: H&R Springs, Short Shifter, CAI, Magnaflow exhaust, Iridium Plugs, NGK Wires, GSR Computer, Wheels, Power-adding Blue Engine Paint
i dunno why I wrote a long reply to that...alcohol makes you do things
It's a damn shame that the srt-4 is based on the neon because I really like it. I drove it and I really like it, I think it's a pretty good car but I just can't get past the fact that it's a Neon!
what a stupid wuss ass bitch. like everyone else said, the only fast neon is the srt 4. regular neons are ass fukin slow and ultimatly wack. that kid is the douchest of bags
Car: 2008 Infiniti G35S and 2008 Mercedes-Benz C300 Sport
Mods: STOCK
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1fast2liter
yes i drive a neon and after i got my ass handed to me by this civic i noticed damn im an idiot for driving a POS neon. can you guys give me an idea on how i can be cool and drive a neon? i doubt its possible cuz most cool people drive hondas especially.."white civics with carbon fiber "hoods. i lost to this one honda one time and it was parked. now thats sad
whats wrong everybody? i actually like this guy
__________________ 2008 Infiniti G35 Sedan Blue Slate/Graphite Interior:Sports and Premium Package 5AT, 2008 Mercedes-Benz C300
other than that ALL neons blow big fat floppy cocks
mucccch better
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