Probably funnier to peeps like Tokyogator, and such. But oh well... enjoy!
Gift of the gaffe! Japan's quirkiest quotes of 2005
Everybody makes mistakes. But unfortunately for some, their blunders are aired all over the country -- or throughout the world -- thanks to the wonders of modern media.
And with the silly season upon us, there probably couldn't be a better time for the magazine to come up with Japan's quirkiest quotes for 2005.
* "How can I be stalking her? She's my woman."
Was the politically incorrect statement made by a 62-year-old yakuza gang boss arrested for breaking the Stalking Prevention Law by tailing the 20-year-old woman he had been seeing, but who had dumped him. Cops had little time for his argument.
* "I couldn't hear the phone ring."
Pretty common excuse amongst lazy workers, but of the two-thirds of Tokyo Metropolitan Government officials assigned to emergency duties who failed to show up for work following a July earthquake that topped 7 on the Richter Scale, this was the unfortunate excuse given for their no-show. Incidentally, in exchange for agreeing to go on the emergency worker roster, the officials are given prime housing at cut rates about one-quarter of actual market values, according to Spa!
* "I was too scared to make 10,000 yen notes."
When a 22-year-old university student was caught handing out bogus 5,000 yen notes he'd made on his computer, he offered the above explanation.
* "All I got was a can of beer and hard cheese."
Former Prime Minister Yoshiro Mori dropped the above line to reporters following a visit to his successor Junichiro Koizumi in an ultimately vain attempt to stop the premier from calling a House of Representatives election in September. Mori, who was famous for having the "Gift of the Gaffe" during his term in office, may not have got much to eat from Koizumi, but he had to eat his words when the poll did go ahead and the Liberal Democratic Party to which both politicians belong pulled off an astounding victory.
* "It's like a kid having a kid."
Yumi Adachi, an actress who was once arguably Japan's best known child performer and still widely regarded as being eternally childish, picked up a few chuckles when she made this comment during a TV interview about a planned role as a mother. Less than a week later, she had announced her marriage -- and pregnancy.
* "Haven't you got any balls?"
Was the ironic comment dumped Yomiuri Giants slugger Kazuhiro Kiyohara screamed out after Hanshin Tigers pitcher Kyuji Fujikawa struck him out with a forkball after a full count with two out in the bottom of the seventh inning in a game at Koshien Stadium. Kiyohara was apparently angry that Fujikawa refused to challenge him directly. Fujikawa, Spa! says it must be noted, had thrown Kiyohara several fastballs while building up the count.
Perhaps, when it comes to words, some of the above-mentioned may have done well to bide by the advice of Japan's 2005 Ig-Nobel Prize winner Dr. NakaMats. The self-professed genius accepted the award he received for taking a photo of every meal he has eaten for the past 35 years, Spa! says, with the following comment.
"Life should be long and speeches short." (By Ryann Connell)
December 22, 2005