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little upset, advice please

2K views 19 replies 13 participants last post by  Shiba-Kun 
#1 ·
Ok girls, here's my problem, me and my b/f have been dating for 9 months, and we don't fight, but sometimes he gets mad at me for things i would see as something little, well when he's mad at me i feel so upset, like i want to cry all the time when he's mad, and i shouldn't be like this should i. and now that i'm reading this i sound so childish, were both 19, so were not children. So i just wanted to see how other girls react when there b/f is mad or upset with them.
 
#2 ·
It's completely rational to be down when someone you love or see highly is upset, or "mad" at you. However, I think it may not be neccessary to cry about it each and every time. When you realize you're about to shed some tears..tell yourself it's nothing to cry over..it's foolish. Believe me, I am such a cryer, but recently learned that crying all the time will just bog your mind.
 
#5 ·
A quick question... When you say "mad" does that mean you question him or give him some advice he'll raise his voice towards you or belittle your POV or worse? :confused

If this is the case I'd say you need to really evaluate if this person is right for you. If it's a problem for you know, I don't think his temper is going to get any better in the near future. Otherwise it might be a case of you just geting to know when to "pick you battles" and realize some topics are off limits between you two, and things might go smoother if you don't bring them up. 9 months is long, but not "that long" IMO and I bet you peeps are still sorting your relationship out.

Good luck. ;)
 
#6 ·
damn guys

My b/f and i have been together of over 4 years. When he would get mad at me i would cry alot. Then one day he was mad and i ignored him, it killed him it took about 5 minutes and he was saying sorry like no tommorow. So now when he gets mad i walk away, he always comes and finds me.
 
#7 ·
I wouldn't play the childish games, "hard to get." It's natural to feel sad or upset when someone you love is down or upset. Just make sure you are there for them in this time of need. Try understanding and listen to him rather than go the other way. He may need you. Crying may be a little much for a situation like this. Good Luck w/ him!! :)
 
#8 ·
solgrl said:
My b/f and i have been together of over 4 years. When he would get mad at me i would cry alot. Then one day he was mad and i ignored him, it killed him it took about 5 minutes and he was saying sorry like no tommorow. So now when he gets mad i walk away, he always comes and finds me.
Haha my girlfriend does that too me too, and it's sad to say it works. Not all the time because I catch the drift and turn it around... :hehe
 
#10 ·
when your b/f gets mad for stupid reasons its not a childish game to walk away. somethings are better to walk away from to cool off rather then fighting over stupid shit. I guess some people just don't understand that. There has never been a real problem other then he is mad at a car he is working on, so it is better to walk away. :rolleyes
 
#11 ·
solgrl said:
My b/f and i have been together of over 4 years. When he would get mad at me i would cry alot. Then one day he was mad and i ignored him, it killed him it took about 5 minutes and he was saying sorry like no tommorow. So now when he gets mad i walk away, he always comes and finds me.
Sorry for saying this but:

ignoring = STUPID and pointless

When stuff comes up people need to talk about it. Ignoring someone, especially when they are trying to talk it over with you just makes them mad and is, like I said, pointless. It is entirely non productive and can lead to an explosion :mad It may force someone to say 'sorry' but is that what really solves a problem?

Don't play games with people you care about, be 'real' and make sure you communicate. Things will be better that way :number1
 
#12 ·
HoNdaDreAmeR said:
Ok girls, here's my problem, me and my b/f have been dating for 9 months, and we don't fight, but sometimes he gets mad at me for things i would see as something little, well when he's mad at me i feel so upset, like i want to cry all the time when he's mad, and i shouldn't be like this should i. and now that i'm reading this i sound so childish, were both 19, so were not children. So i just wanted to see how other girls react when there b/f is mad or upset with them.

i just wanted to make sure it didn't say that her b/f was trying to talk to her about it. Oh look it doesn't, so my point is that if you get in you b/f face going what's wrong, why are you mad at me, can't we just talk about it. After a while he is going to get even more pissed. So back off, cool down and talk about it later :bh
 
#13 ·
ok i guess i didn't write enough on my original post so people could understand what i meant. here it is again. if your b/f is mad walk away let him cool down THEN talk about it when he comes to you. He will come to you don't worry. That is the only way my b/f and i have been together so long we cool down then talk. :eek:
 
#14 ·
ive been with my man a lil over 3 years...and we work and live together. that situation has the capabilty to spiral us into a constant battle. over the years ive learned whats important and whats not. weve gone thru the phase where everything gets us upset in one way or another. youll get thru it if the relationship has a good foundation. Im the kinda person who needs to deal with it NOW and not later...but ive learned that he needs a lil time to clear his head so that he doesnt say things that are hurtfull because he gets so upset and frustrated in the min of the argument. sooooo even tho im left to brew the situation in my head (which for most girls gives us time to think of more reasons to be mad) i walk away till hes calmed down and seeing that he can deal a lil better makes it easier for me to keep a clear head. Im a huge crier, because i have the problem of keeping everything in untill i reach a limit and it all comes out...for m crying is more of a release...sometimes i cry instead of punching a wall. theres nothing wrong with crying....if youre doing it for the right reasons.

dont let your bf control your emotions. YOU control them.
 
#17 ·
anyone ever heard that saying dont go to sleep angry? it stands true. All you have to do, is say hey, give me time to cool off, then we'll talk, not just completely ignore them, that wont solve anything. WHen you get time to cool off, it makes you think rationally, so that way, you can come back to the conversation with the right mind. If you went to bed angry over it, you will wake up even more angry in the morning, totally not worth it. The last thing you want to do is play with someones head, afterall, you dont want it done to you.
 
#19 ·
I've been with my bf for almost 5 years and I know exactly how u feel. I always get broken up when I know he's mad/disappointed/upset with me. I try not to cry, but I usually end up crying or at least tearing up. I also apologize like crazy. So ur a little better off than me. Don't worry, ur not alone, but as long as u can tell him how u feel about whatever happened everything will work out.:hug
 
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